Over the past 2 years, I have (finally) been learning lessons of detachment, particularly in my romantic life. I wonder if it’s a good thing or not. It’s likely not obvious to most people, even those who know me well, but I possess a (hidden) deeply romantic streak. And I get into relationships easily.
In high school, I experienced love-at-first-sight. When we ended up together years later, I cried in an outpouring of emotion, scaring the crap out of him. Freshman year of college, I began what I would have never realized would be an 11-year relationship. I had my first real date at the age of 30. My first OKCupid date turned into a 9-month relationship! And so the story goes on. Perhaps it’s the Korean cultural influence. We are known for our ongoing tele-dramas, and the streets of Seoul are apparently lined with googly-eyed couples staring deeply into each others’ eyes, by one account.
I’ve always had a hard time letting go of people. My attachment circle is forever growing and rarely pruned, though like for most normal people, there are periods of intensification in certain areas.
People have told me I trust too easily. I let everyone in. I’m overly inclusive to a fault. Ever since I was a child, I always included everyone, particularly those who seemed to sit on the fringes. Come join us, I would say. This past Thanksgiving, for the Friendsgiving meal at my NYC apartment, the list of people coming started to amass and amass. My friend who was helping me cook at one point got so agitated that he said he would not be able to come. I had just boarded a flight going who knows where (my typical routine), and he asked if I had a minute to talk. He sounded strange and stressed on the phone. Continue reading Relationships with expiration dates →
