I can no longer sleep through the night. What started as 3am risings has crept back to 1am. Now, I’m sleeping 2-3 hours a night. I am not overly tired, but I can’t imagine this is healthy.

Tonight, I woke up around 12:30am or 1am after going to sleep at 11pm. I had the feeling that I needed to do something. Maybe I was late or perhaps there was something that urgently needed to be dealt with. But there wasn’t.

And then I thought about the holidays. It is almost that time of year. It doesn’t feel like it, but time has passed, and it’s fall. I’ve been away from home for a long time. I imagined myself in my apartment making coffee, eating salami, sitting on my couch. All the normalish type things I once did. I remembered our Thanksgiving.

Today/tonight, my mind wandered to the song, “Have yourself a merry little Christmas.” I suppose that we are coming up on the time of year when Christmas music will start playing in stores. The Rockefeller Center Christmas tree will be lit. The streets will be cold, and everyone will be in puffy jackets and wool.