I’ve felt like a castaway for the past 11 days. From the wintry morning start in Seoul, I flew and transferred to monsooning Ko Samui before another transfer brought me to the spiritual-cum-party island of Ko Phangan in Thailand. The heart of rainy season. It seemed fitting. The world was telling me to slow down for a second, or a week…maybe forever?

I met Jay during my time at HP in Jeju in Korea. The first blurry yet distinct memory I have of him may have been at a 24-hour cafe. It was a Friday night, the first Friday of our program. I was motivated to work and had a 4-hour board meeting starting at midnight. As soon as I arrived, surprised to see so many people gathered together and working so late on a Friday evening, they dispersed, off to dinner. Jay was among the last to pack up. He was curious about the bulgogi pretzels. I felt some degree of social anxiety. When you’re two people, you sort of have to talk and engage, and I was more in the mood to fade into the background. I was still in London mode, hermetic and monastic in my approach to the world.

At the first round of presentations, he gave a talk on why people should write about their lives. He had published an article on Entrepreneur that made him famous. I don’t remember the stats, but they were impressive and staggering. The concept – How I Built A Startup While Traveling to 20 Countries.

After a shared trek up part of Halla Mountain in Jeju, we decided to travel together a bit after the program, to detox and relax. A few Google spreadsheets and conversations later, we decided on Ko Phangan. He was going to be at a conference in Bangkok anyway.

The days here have melted and blended together. I’ve done very little with my time other than sit, talk, swim, read (very little), write (a bit). Election morning was surreal. I briefly checked the news, had a phone call, and worked on a few things. At one point, Jay reported that Hillary had a 71% percent chance of winning. So I started to tune things out for a while. Then the picture started to shift decisively.

There is a large percentage of this country that went unrepresented. The polls never picked up in the political lead-up and tally. We have left them behind and failed them as a country. Anger is a natural reaction. I wonder if Trump knew this because he worked so much in reality TV. Perhaps this was his strategy all along. Who knows what he will actually do when he is in power?

These 11 days of nothingness have been rejuvenating and much-needed. I haven’t had a drink. It’s been quiet. I semi-digitally detoxed. I’ve sort of become mostly vegan. I’ve only pooped twice (ugh). The ocean has revived me. I’ve been kind of a slug. I started being able to read books again.

Jay and I have gone deep into relationships, family, issues. Between the two of us, I don’t know who has more ridiculous dating stories. His are actually funny while mine are a bit on the horrifying and sad side of things. Gender differences, I suppose. He’s seen a few of my personalities and moods. One day, we were at the beach, as we were most days. I was sprawled out uncomfortably on a sarong telling him all the feelings of anger I possessed. They were all coming to the surface. Tears were streaming on either side of my face. I felt better getting some of it out. Then the walls came back up. There are many stories I’ve forgotten about my life, and it’s a novel thing to have the time to unearth them.

Beach. Sunrise. Sunset. Couch. Villa. Three square meals a day. Massage. Face massage. Cold and sometimes hot shower. Little kitty cat eating my food and my shirt. And my other furry breakfast companion.

Is this my new reality? Is reality rushing onto the F train to make it to midtown by 9am or rushing to JFK or LGA to catch a flight somewhere pre-dawn? I see that there are many ways to live life. I feel a bit impatient with myself to crack the code vs. sitting here languorously. Sometimes sitting is a way to get back to self, and doing nothing is the ultimate gift and investment in your future self.