I started learning guitar. I needed a (non-traumatic) way to return to my love of music and to distract myself from “thoughts.” My trauma is really associated with the piano and merciless Asian tiger parent monitoring. (Shivers!). Music just operates on a different plane. It’s a language, emotion, field. It has the power to transport and heal.

When I was younger, I played piano and sang classical/opera. The first instrument I learned was actually violin, but that abruptly ended when at the age of 4 or so, I took my tiny quarter size violin and bashed it over my babysitter’s head for interrupting me and talking too much while I was practicing. The bridge was solidly bashed in, and my parents apparently did not think it was a good idea to get a new one. I still remember that moment very well. Years later, we would apologize to the little Korean granny when we would run into her at the grocery store. Yes, I was kind of a little devil child. I’m trying to make up for it in my old age.

Now that I’m back in NYC, I have retrieved my guitar and plan to reengage. I’ve started to put together a list of songs to learn. Most of them are massively cheesy. This little rendition of “Collide” by Howie Day is a bit iffy with my cold and sharpness, but oh well. Next purchase, a capo. Next mission, finding a good website / online tutorial for guitar.