Monthly Archives: November 2016

Life, Work

Freedom is an ice cream cake: Happy 6-month anniversary!

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For the 6-month anniversary of me + freedom, I am giving us a present – the next level of freedom! On May 7, 2016, I embarked on a strange and beautiful journey. After a lifetime of workaholism, I voluntarily left my job to figure out what I really want to do with my life. I have no idea if I will find that perfect calling, but I am determined to give it my best shot…and to be patient with myself along the way.

Reflecting back on the arc of my journey to today, it’s pretty remarkable what has been required to shed the layers of expectation and habitual thinking around what I needed to do in my life to be considered a success in my own eyes and in the eyes of the world. My first week of unemployment was ebullient and frenetic. I threw myself a party, complete with a drunken “Happy Birthday” screech (um, it’s not my birthday! I quit my job…) delivered and serenaded by a friend as I was presented with a Hello Kitty cake. I had so many meetings that week – I considered jumping into other industries and jobs. I felt like I needed to be even more invincible, perhaps to make up for some insecurity around venturing into unknown jobless territory. Not having a job in NYC…you might as well not exist.

I traveled to CO, SF, NYC, SF, Japan, Bali, NYC, London, Germany, Sicily, London, Jeju, Seoul, and now Thailand. I started a consulting practice and worked with several startups and on London Fashion Week. Continue reading Freedom is an ice cream cake: Happy 6-month anniversary! →

Travel

Magic island time

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It’s quiet this morning, as it is every morning here. I woke up at 4am thinking about my 9:30am call. 3 hours of sleep. The water flow from the infinity pool hasn’t turned on yet. The birds are chirping, and out from the open air living room area of my villa, the sun’s coming up slowly.

Sunrise Ko Phangan

This has been my home for the past 10 days, looking out into this view from here, my 5-bedroom duplex villa.

ko-pha-ngan-villa-suan-sawan

The mornings and breakfast bleed into a walk to the beach and a slow meandering lunch. Sitting in silence, I’ll find myself fading into the distance thinking. Then Jay and I will tell each other stories about life, prattle on about UI design options, or just sit in silence. Yesterday, I cried in front of him. A week ago, he was still a stranger. (More on that later.) Often, he’s wrapped in a red towel on the couch as I hang off the L piece of the sectional. The conversation moves from dating to family to our self-realizations and then to the seesaw between doing something and doing nothing. Dinner. Sleep. Repeat. Continue reading Magic island time →

Travel

Reflecting back on Korea

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We arrived in silence, went through our bedtime ritual, and laid down like statues in bed. The atmosphere was tense, and I waited for dawn to arrive. I couldn’t wait to board my flight and be away from complications, cities, and bad juju.

The hours ticked to the right. 2am, 3am, 4am, and then it was time to wake up. Meanwhile, I was wide awake, readying myself to run, mentally clutching my suitcase and tracing the outline of my shoes (and the act of putting them on) with my mind. I’ve noticed that this can be a pattern, this sine wave of experience in a place and in a situation. Things build up, and I’m super happy. Then they fall apart, and I enter the trough of disillusionment. Then I quickly bolt. Lately, bolting has taken the form of a last-minute one-way ticket (not bad!). If I keep running faster, then it’s hard for things to catch up, I guess. Now, I’m in Thailand doing nothing, and my hope is that some of this processing time will be helpful for me. Maybe I can “catch up” with myself instead of continually running and experiencing new things to outpace the hammer of “reality,” if such a thing even exists.

Korea, Korea, Korea. Jeju. Seoul. Cheonan. DMZ. New friends. Family. Work possibilities. Vacation. Future home? Identity. Continue reading Reflecting back on Korea →

Travel

My DMZ visit

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One of the most common questions I’m asked when I tell people I’m Korean is, “Are you North Korean or South Korean?” No matter how many times I’m asked this question, I am surprised and caught off guard every time I’m asked. I can’t help but return a look of bewilderment before responding that I’m South Korean.

There are a number of reasons for this reaction. First of all, North Korea is so locked down that the likelihood of me being North Korean is pretty low. Secondly, if I were North Korean, I probably would not admit it. Thirdly, Koreans just don’t really think that way. We are Korean. Yes, we had a devastating war 60 years ago that divided our country in two, but as a nation, we are still one in some ways. It is getting more distant, but it is still the recent enough past that our parents remember a time when Korea was one. Continue reading My DMZ visit →

Travel, Work

Nomad List meetup, Seoul

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I almost feel like a real nomad. I went to a nomad meetup in Seoul at Woodstock Music Bar in Gangnam. I met Pieter Levels, creator of Nomad List, RemoteOK, and CoLive. I was surprised by the composition of the rest of the crew. One woman was an English teacher and friend of a friend. Another was an HP colleague. The co-founder of Hive, the biggest South Korean co-working space. A couple who spent half the year being nomadic. A game designer who was starting learn to code meetups in Seoul.

This is probably something I’ll look at as a milestone of sorts when I look back. Or maybe it was just an excuse to eat some chicken karaage. I am glad I went to this instead of the massive TechCrunch Asia event.

Nomad List Meetup

Food, Travel

My vegan weekend in Seoul

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Being vegan in Korea isn’t easy. Even kim chi contains some fish. The request for “no meat” is literally translated into “no beef.” The correct way to request things would be then to ask for “no beef, no fish, no pork, no chicken.” And to further clarify, “vegetables only.” Even then, there may be a sauce laced with fish or some non-vegan element.

I had a vegan visitor for the weekend. It isn’t impossible to be vegan in Seoul, but it takes some work (and a number of trips to Itaewon, the foreigner neighborhood). Continue reading My vegan weekend in Seoul →

Travel

Halloween in Seoul

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Seoul is an alcoholic city, and as Friday and Saturday roll around, people get lit! Halloween ups the ante.

It started as a tradition in Itaewon, the foreigner area where the American military base is located, and has started to spread as Korea has opened up more to Western influence.

We started out in Itaewon, where there was a mix of foreigners and Koreans. Most of the bars were ready for the evening, with bartenders and patrons dressed up alike and the bars festooned to a level that even NYC bars do not get to. In some cases, I wondered how many 10s of Gs were required for the decorations.

We then jumped into a cab to Hongdae, a more Korean-centric party area. The crowds, the costumes, the density of people were even greater. Korea knows how to party!

Halloween Seoul

 

Love (and other approximations)

Is fighting in a relationship healthy?

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It was the last week of freshman year of college, and I found myself screaming at the top of my lungs in the quad in front of John Jay Hall at Columbia University. My boyfriend had just left my expensive camera in a taxi, and I completely lost it. Looking back, I now realize that it was not this event alone but the accumulation of events dosed with heavy immaturity that led to this outburst. Our friends looked at us agape, feeling awkward, and likely thinking that I was some monster. At the time, I think I must have imagined that they were on my side and that I was yelling and proving my case so obviously.

When we are young, arguing can feel so real and potent. A necessary component of passion and love, so raw and so real. He would always beg us not to fight, and I would argue that it was healthy to fight.

Now I see it as being somewhere in the middle. It is necessary to figure out the best way to be honest and express yourself without being destructive.

My last night in Seoul reminded me of many other poignant endings and moments in my life. I sometimes try to find things that are wrong, so I can be upset…maybe it makes me feel more in control. Maybe it’s a cry for help. Continue reading Is fighting in a relationship healthy? →